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Community Corner

Return to Happiness

Grief can be a journey of transformation, but happiness is just around the corner.

These long winter months can be hard on those of us who may be grieving or have recently suffered a loss. But experts say we all have the means to get through it if we keep things optimistic.

“It is important to understand that all people handle grief and the stages of grief differently," says Reverend Catherine Duncan from Fairview Home Care and Hospice Spiritual Services.

Rev. Duncan spoke to senior residents about how to proactively handle grief earlier this month at the Golden Valley Park & Recreation Department. Duncan, an ordained minister, suggests picturing grief as a roller coaster with ups and downs.

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"We should think of the person, pet, or family as the sun, and the people affected as planets moving around the sun. When the sun is lost, the planets are all in different places and will react differently,” says Rev. Duncan.

She says working through these ups and downs helps people develop coping skills and integrate joyful memories while responding to loss.

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Rev. Duncan says grieving can manifest itself in physical, mental, emotional and spiritual ways. Some examples include physically losing sleep, experiencing headaches or a change in eating patterns; mentally feeling pre-occupied, finding difficulty making decisions and every day normal routines become difficult; emotionally feeling sad, angry, anxious, lonely or relieved; spiritually questioning your loss of faith or anger with God.

Rev. Duncan says John Schneider, PhD., has developed a new view on grief in his book, Finding My Way: Healing and Transformation Through Loss & Grief that helps with transformative grief. The three basic principles are identifying what is lost, identifying what is left and celebrating what is possible.

She says by doing these things and remaining optimistic about the future, people are better able to integrate mind, body and spirit and transform through the loss and changes and begin the healing.

Rev. Duncan reminds us, "it takes courage to live fully.” 

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